Home is where your heart is
Home means more than just a house where you live, more than just the people who you love. It is a feeling.
My life in Hungary became boring and monotonic since I came back from England where I spent almost four months during my Erasmus program. When you are an Erasmus student you have no worries in the world. Every day is special: you travel all the time, you meet international people, you go to parties, you study the language and you discover the culture. The world is your oyster. But all good things come to an end eventually. When you go back home, everything seems just dull and you begin to feel totally depressed. This is called “Post-Erasmus Syndrome”. But it gets even worse. When you finish the university you realize the best part of your life is basically over. You’re supposed to find a job and join the rest of the society in the treadwheel. I just wasn’t ready to do this, but I saw that I don’t have lots of options. Half of my friends were starting their MA diploma, so they could spend two more years of their life figuring out what they want to do after the university. The others were already struggling at their workplace. Most of them had a boring job and a bad salary, so they were unhappy and depressed. I didn’t want to become one of them. Also I was craving to go abroad again.
I heard about the EVS program from my best friend who was doing her EVS in Scotland. I’ve already started to learn French in England (Yes, I know, it’s totally bizarre) because I’ve met so many French speaking students and I wanted to learn more about the culture as well. But of course after a few months of learning French the only things I could say were “Bonjour” and “Merci”. I don’t know why, but I kind of felt an inner urge to learn this language. Even if I found it extremely hard to learn because of the pronunciation and grammar, I was determined to speak properly sooner or later. So I had the perfect reason to go on EVS in a French speaking country. I wasn’t sure of neither where I want to go nor what kind of project I would like to join. I sent my CV and my motivation letter to every organisation I found in each bigger city of France and Belgium. So finally it’s not me who choose the project, but the project has chosen me.
In January I found myself in Rhode-Saint-Genése, which is a small town close to Brussels. It is the kind of place where the neighbours don’t know each other, because they are surrounding themselves with enormously big gardens and tall fences, so nobody can see their big house and expensive cars. It is a residential area, you can only find a few shops, but there is nothing to do around here. The house where I’m living is huge as well, like an old mansion. We have two floors with lots of rooms for our thirteen mentally disabled residents. I had no experience with handicap people, but I knew before I came here that this year will probably change my life. From the first moment they accepted me as a full member of the house and they gave me so much attention and love. For me they are like my family and I appreciate every moment I can spend with them. Of course at the beginning it wasn’t easy to speak with each other, because my French skills were quite weak. But with time and patience I learned many more things about them and I realized that there are different ways to understand each other, not just speaking the same language. My job made me happy every day.
At the beginning Brussels didn’t make a big impression on me. But the more I went out and the more people I’ve met, the more I started to like it here. The city is full of life. There are different events every day: cultural programs, concerts, expositions, language meetings, parties. This city is more international than any other capital I’ve been to. I never felt like I’m a foreigner, because the people I’ve met were strangers just like me. The Belgians are open minded and friendly as well, everybody speaks English and even the ticket controller is smiling at you. I was having a great time in Belgium and I almost never felt homesick.
So the first six months of my EVS passed in a blink of an eye. In August I returned to Hungary to spend tree weeks with my family and friends. Although I wasn’t home sick, because I didn’t miss my country or Hungarian food, I’ve missed my loved ones. But I have to admit it was a strange feeling being home. It was more of a cultural shock to be back in Hungary than to arrive in Belgium. I guess it is because of the Hungarian mentality, the people’s negative approach to life. I felt lost and that I don’t belong anywhere. In Budapest my roommate was already living with somebody else and they were just about to move to another apartment. In Eger I had my own room in my mother’s house, but I never really lived there, I was just using the room when I came to visit. So I didn’t really have a place which I could call my home.
After my vacation I was on my way back to Belgium, sitting on the airplane when I had a strange thought. I couldn’t decide if I’m coming from home or I’m just going back there. When I entered in the house and opened the door of my room I had this heart warming feeling inside of me. I didn’t realize before, that during six months this room meant home for me. The place where I could be alone if I want, where I can relax and enjoy the silence, where I share some drinks and laughter with my friends, where we hide away from the world and spend some intimate time together with my love. Home means more than just a house where you live, more than just the people who you love. It is a feeling. It is neither about your language nor about your culture. You can be a complete stranger from the other half of the world and you can find yourself loving a totally different place and language with a mixture of people who see the world in another way. Now I like to think more about myself as a European than a Hungarian. Not because I am not proud to be from Hungary. But because the first time in my life I felt home in another country, in Belgium.