Every morning we are going to work by communicating with different people. Especially
in our volunteering routine we can get to know with new people having a new
communication. And quite often it seems difficult to communicate some of them having a
misunderstanding or being a foreign country. Probably you will say that communication is
general concept, that can includes many occasions(language, characteristics, emotions,
cultural features etc)to be ineffective. That’s right. But even in that case we can use it
effectively by following some methods. Because we are here to get rid of such
misunderstanding and to have a mutual comprehensions with others.
We analyze this topic differently. Some of us think, that effective communication is
receiving and sending clear information, and some of us think, that it is a good relations
with others. I will introduce one situation by using the Four sides model, which is invented
by German psychologist Friedemann Schulz von Thun. It shows some methods, how we
can receive the information and how we can communicate with each other effectively. He
offers his example, that I will try to compare with another one.
Imagine, that you are in the kindergarten. There are a lot of kids and they are speaking
very loud with each other. You are saying to them: Santa Claus is coming.
Probably this is enough to keep them silent, because it is the a topic, which they really
want to listen to.they are interested about.
At the same time, you are focusing on the fact, that they receivied the information ( in that
case, the name of Santa Claus) by different ways and with different ears.
They receive the information by four sides( 4 Ears Method) of the message, which are
And being interesting for all and having an effective communication with them doesn’t
always succeed. After sending the information, you need to repeat or answer to their
questions as well. But before it, let’s observe the position of receivers.
So you announced: Santa Claus is coming…...
Their perception of the announcement is indifferent. Some of them are curious just about
Santa. She/he knows, that he is someone who has gifts. And he comes on Christmas. This
is the factual side, when they witness the existence of Santa as a fact.
One little boy, who knows, that Santa comes on Christmas, and that this is not new for
him will be curious, why the announcer has said that. It is a normal reaction for
those, who receive the information completely, but want to know, which information about
the sender is hidden in the message, and they need to give a question Why? This one is
self-revealing or self-disclosure ears. For kids, the sender can be one, who knows
everything about Santa. Although, this also can be controversial. It’s up to the receiver,
how they admit the information. And in any case, they will ask a question: Why?
And finally there will be older kids, who will receive the information as a reassuring to be
more respectful and kind. This is an appeal. You should know: Who states something, will
also affect something. This appeal should make the receiver do something or to leave
something undone. The attempt to influence someone can be less or more open (advice)
or hidden (manipulation).
On the other side, if the curator of the kindergarten announces, that Santa Claus is
coming, the kids will probably be interested, where he lives. Maybe there will be
somebody, who will think, that Santa visits only those, who live in a good town, because
the kid has his own association or perspectives with Santa. Tthis is the relationship-
The relationship-indicator expresses, how the sender gets along with the receiver and
what he thinks about the receiver. Depending on, how the sender talks to the receiver (way
of formulation, body language, intonation.) he expresses esteem, respect, friendship,
disinterest, contempt or something else.
So, by providing information, you are waiting to different responses from kids. But it can
be possible as well, that they can become noisier and naughtier after receiving the
So why am I showing this example? In real life and in our projects we all are kids, when
we receive information. We have our own perspective of the life. We are different with our
temperaments. We can react to the same information emotionally. And sometimes the
same information, that we receive, seems very difficult to figure out having an ineffective
communication, which is bothering us to integrate to the society completely and at the
same time by receiving the unclear information, we can be unclear to the others as well.
So this example can generate many questions and answers. Because the announcement,
that Santa is coming to them, is uncertain. We can have our assumes and provide our
versions. As a sender at first you need to receive the information clearly, because you also
receive it from the other sources ( books, internet, people).
But, despite different reaction of receivers. the sender needs to be clear. To have an
effective communication it essential for chooseing the topic, which will be interesting for
those, who you are talking to. And first of all it is necessary to be
aware of effective communication’s characteristics, which are clear, correct,
complete, precise and reliability messages.
Let’s communicate with people effectively, being clear for them and receiving a clear
information from them. Because effective communication is one of main preconditions to
improve our life quality.
Here you can find further information by offering your own examples and comparing it with
each other. It’s really interesting:))