vacation is over. time to officially remember what day of the week is..
going home for christmas - coming back for EVS
Wow, my last blogpost was almost 2 months ago... I wrote a very detailed blogpost about my short trip during 30.11.17-03.12.17 but unfortunately it was deleted somehow and this traumatised me, because i spent a lot of time for it and i was almost ready .... but, shit happens, life goes on - this could be the main quote of my EVS-stage hahah!
After my last blog, we continued our work in the schools. I started to have weekly class hours, teaching german. I loved this, the kids are great and always excited for learning german. How they welcome me when Im entering the class, its the way I want to be welcomed always. "HUUUUUUURRAAAA YEEEEEY Youre here , HAAALLO , GUTEN TAAAAHHHG!!" :D Besides this I accomponied my turkish friend to her work for one day. Shes going three times a week to a "inclusion" school. I wrote inclusion in quotation marks, because what kind of inclusion happened there makes me sad. And its not the inlcusion how it should be. After the day there in this (they call it "special school") I was sad, and i talked with my coordinator and she said that this kind of inclusion school would be the best in Arad (the city i live) ... Maybe I will do an own Blog or probably a report about the inclusion and generally humans with disabilities in Romania. This is a complex and saddish topic.
I also had a trip to Sibiu (Herrmannstadt) with some german girls, they are not doing EVS but we are doing kind of same work. And it was calmative to spend at least some days with german native speakers. My first time after 3 months :D The city Sibiu is very cute,and nice. Our first evening we went to the christmas market -this one is called the most beautiful christmas market in whole Romania. And yes I agree, it was idyllic and lovely, but not compareable with german christmas markets! .. Also it was not possible to be vegan or at least vegetarian at a christmas market in romania. They only have big big pans on fire, full of fatty meat. But what you still can find in winter is grilled/boiled corn!! Thats great. Also I recommend the Churros with choclate sauce, so yummy. After we've been to a bar, where we had some drinks, our plan was going to a club after. But the night ended up in a silly way.
The next day we did some touristical stuff, visiting a museum and the tower of city. We had a beautiful view above Sibiu. After, we spent some time in a girls apartment (shes living in Sibiu) , and we cut the hair of another german girl *fun times* :P
After my trip had 3 more days, here in Arad. And then it was wednesday the 20.th of december.. And I was already very excited the night before. I woke up with a big smile. It was the day of going home for christmas. Wow really, my time before christmas was very difficult, and I had some "downs", in my work, with my colleagues, with a flatmate.. I was stressed and always nervous. :(
So the day I went home I was the happiest! And after a long travel journey I arrived late at night/or early in the morning at my house door. First fail: I told my sister "please put me a key outside because I have no". When I arrived.. everything closed, no key :D
All my family came to our place for christmas. Grandmother/father, uncles and aunts, and my sweet angelcousin :D So Christmas was full of family moments, but also i saw all my best friends. This was insane. I've been so happy seeing them, and holding them in my arms. At least there are some people in this world to which you will always come back and feel home! I appreciated beeing home a lot. But to be honest.. my first days were so strange, like i couldnt get used to, beeing back. And first days I havent a real meaning of home. I was irritated. After some days also my mom got annoying (in a lovely way). I have a very caring mom (also dad, but at home I spent all my time with mom - less than with dad) and I missed the independent feeling. I got annoyed by beeing reminded what to eat (fruits vegeetables ...) I got annoyed of beeing told that I sleep to much, and that my daily routine makes no sense. And blablabla. :D
But after 10 days I had to go back, going back after I already get used to home, felt strange again. But I was also happy. I couldnt wait to see my flatmates and colleagues again. And I couldnt wait to plan my day by my own and to be self-determind again :D
My first weekend Alessa from Cluj (german girl) visited me. It was a perfect first weekend!! We had a lot of fun, and it was so so good beeing with a german, i felt understanded and home. Louis, my french flatmate also turned back from his homecountry. And Our little company was complete. But after Alessa left, i fall into a big whole. Something happened between me and my project group. They started tu put me "out of the group". Everyday I was alone, because they went out without me. They didnt tell me what they are doing and where they are going. Normally we should work in the office this week, but nobody was there (no boss, no coordinater..) and we didnt know what to do ... So this week was like a lost week. We did nothing. At least I did nothing. Because nobody spoke with me, and I was excluded from the group. I get hardly homesick. Probably its one of the hardest times during EVS. The after christmas-time. You went home, first days you feel strange at home, then you start feeling good at home and you get used to your "old life", but the moment you get used is the moment you have to leave back to your EVS life- and then you come back, and your "project family" -which are like your base- are ignoring you. Worst.. a lot of negativity became me. Im honest, I wanted to break up. Everything was too much for me. Couldnt handle the situation anymore. But somehow I survived.
Now Im here in the office. Im okay. We started working on monday (15.1.18). And the good thing is i have a very good company of nice people since some days. Im also okay with my project group, we are speaking normally and we go out together. :) Unfortunately my turkish flatmate, Merve, moved out to the other apartment. I miss her, because she was my crazy girl, we had a lot of fun together in our small cute apartment. I miss the tea evenings, and our deep talks :( Now Im living alone with my french flatmate; Louis. Its okay also, we have peace and relaxity. :))
Im happy - I have my inner peace back! I hope I survived the deep "depression-phase" , which I thought I will never have. There are some cool things coming up the next weeks. We will go for Mid-Term-Training, after I am going 2weeks for some exams, I will meeet my parents and sister again. And I will turn back in february to Arad. Then I have 2 months left, and the chapter EVS will be finished (tears are coming)
Thats enough for the moment, long time no up-date.. so here you have a very detailed one hahah