Hands across the world

The winter lasts here for six months, they said. And indeed it lasted, it was pretty scary. But I made it safe and sound. In the end, I can proudly say that not only did I survive the winter, but I also survived my year in Furtwangen. And by surviving I mean having the greatest experience of my life.

It all began with this strong desire I had to get out there and see the world. So I looked for a project in Germany and happened to get accepted to work as a volunteer at a school for mentally disabled children in the deep heart of the Black Forest, where the Danube springs. Therefore from the big hectic Bucharest I landed in the small, but beautiful Furtwangen. It wasn’t long before it grew on me and slowly but surely I knew my heart was in the right place when I called it home. For in what barely seemed like a year I lived so much and met so many incredible people that brought laughter in my eyes and joy in my soul.

Of course, it wasn’t always easy. I found myself alone in a foreign country where I could barely speak the language, with no friends or family that could help in times of need. Communicating in German alone was a personal boundary I had to push as far as I could in order to make it there. Working at a school where the children and most of the employees do not speak English was, although precarious, a powerful advantage. I was forced to get out of my comfort zone and try to learn the language as well as I could. The first time I went to the doctor’s and managed to explain my symptoms in German I got complimented on my language skills and felt very proud of myself. Or when I held a power point presentation about Christmas traditions from my country at the school and the children loved it made the effort worthwhile.

Nevertheless, the language barrier made my work with the kids all the more difficult. Often I could not make myself understood fast enough to get a positive reaction from them and not seldom have I not understood what they were saying to me. Some of them were not able to speak properly because of their disability and usually they couldn’t get a grasp of the concept that I was a foreigner and German was not my mother tongue. Therefore they didn’t bother that much to speak clearly and slowly to me. I’ve had my share of frustration when, for example, they were fighting and I couldn’t find the right words fast enough to calm them down. Or when they made a joke and I didn’t understand it. Fortunately, there are many creative way to interact with children that don’t require that many words, like playing or drawing. These kind of activities really helped me bond with them when words failed to serve their purpose. However as time passed it was very rewarding for me to notice that I was making progress and I was able to get through to the kids better and better with my not perfect German.

I must admit, I hadn’t have much contact with children in the past, let alone work with them. I imagined it would be difficult, but I never realized just how difficult. Children will test you and your limits and drive you over the edge if you allow it. It was very troublesome for me at the beginning to set some boundaries so that the children would know how far they could go with me, given that I am a shy and mellow person, who finds it very hard to say no. During the first weeks it was very frustrating for me when they wouldn’t listen to me or when they were fighting and I couldn’t calm them down. It took me awhile to realize that it is not necessarily a failure, that they don’t do that only with me and that it is part of who they are. My first achievement from this year was actually learning to be more flexible and to adjust my expectations to reality. These children taught me a precious life lesson. I learned from them to be more patient and more open minded, to accept people as they are and understand that every human being is different and special in their own unique way, therefore they should be treated as such and not under the etiquette of prejudice. Everyone has something to offer to this world, we just have to know how to receive it. Once I understood that, my work became more enjoyable because I lost my unachievable goals that I had in mind. I started connecting with them much better. While growing fond of one another I also noticed how they would listen to me more and pay me more respect, based on the affection we mutually felt. Looking back at it, I can honestly say it was never perfect, but the moments when they came to me to hug me or just gave me a smile made it worthwhile.

I have learned that the perspective on things is always important. One can find themselves in a situation that is not quite as expected. However it is not the situation itself that is important, but the way one looks at it makes the difference, one can either fight it or try to adapt to it and make the best of it. And speaking of perspective, working with disable children takes a toll on you. It made me realize that I was somewhat selfish and too focused on the things I did not have, forgetting to cherish what I did have. I have learned to rejoice over the little things in life, like the joy in a child’s laughter or the blissful innocence through which they look at life at that age.

Another thing I have learned in my work was to show more initiative. At first, I was somewhat passive, waiting to be given tasks and instructions until I decided it was time I took matters into my own hands and ask for more responsibility. The outcome was positive; I started doing my own small activities with the kids, such as cooking, leading the morning circle and teaching them a traditional dance from my home country, Romania.

I have experienced the language barrier not only at school, but also in my personal life outside my work. Due to the university from Furtwangen I have met a lot of students from all over the world, each of them speaking their own language. They say that with every learnt language one gains a new soul. And I think it is true, because thinking and the perspective one has on life are strongly connected to language. How else do we best express our thoughts if not through words? The language barrier can harden a relationship, but can also be an advantage if you use it right. I used it to share my experience with different people and learn from their experience as well, improving my language and life skills. I tried to learn from the people I met, about the way they think, the way they feel and their perspective on life and happiness. I learned that human interaction does not always need words in order to be authentic and fulfilling. Even though words are important, we can connect as human beings, because no matter the culture and the corner of the world we come from, we are all in our core just people….trying to find our way through life and maybe be happy…. We don’t need to set our differences as excuses not to get along. On the contrary, we can use these disparities to learn from one another and broaden our awareness. Stereotypes are just the easiest attempt to put an etiquette on something we do not know. Because getting to know something requires an effort. And sadly, often the lack of knowledge leads to discrimination. That is why I think the existence of such programs like volunteer work abroad that sustain the expansion of cultural awareness is very important for a peaceful coexistence on this planet.

I think that during my voluntary year I grew as a person. I came back the same, but looking at the world with different eyes, through the experience I created together with the wonderful little and grown up people I have met. And finally yet importantly, not only have I bettered my language skills, but I also achieved or developed some valuable qualities. I learned to be less shy and more open minded, to interact more easily with people and accept them in their uniqueness. I learned that life doesn't happen by itself. You have to put yourself out there, get out of your comfort zone and push your boundaries. Take risks, take any opportunity that meets your way and if it’s not there, create the opportunity yourself. And of course, learn what you can from every life experience and every person you meet, because everybody has something to offer to the world.